Richard Flink

As promised, a fictional Richard.

Richard Flink is the sort-of boyfriend of Amelia, the middle-school-aged protagonist of the children’s series Angel By My Side. I freely admit that this kind of thing is not my usual reading material; I only read the trilogy because my grandmother gave me a copy of the third book. It sat on my shelf for a while until I randomly opened it to a page and saw there was a character named Richard. About two hours later (these books are short), I had finished it. Since I had started with book three, I felt the urge to read the first two. I was able to get the first book from my local library; I had to wait until I was in college and my public library joined a consortium to read the second. And that’s partially why I still remember these books: I was 18 and reading a book for ten-year-olds. Ahh well. I will stop at almost nothing to get my Dick fix.

Any who, it’s been a while since I read these books, but they’re pretty standard feel-good kiddy faire. Despite involving guardian angels, they aren’t overly preachy – I didn’t feel like religion was being shoved down my throat. They do, however, deal with the now-trite aphorism that beauty is on the inside.

Book One is Angel By My Side: Amelia’s Story. The kids are in sixth grade and the end-of-the-year dance is coming up. Amelia feels ugly and invisible and has no one to go with. Her best friend Shura has a devil-may-care attitude, eschewing the idea that you need a date for a dance. Not that it ultimately matters because Richard Flink, loveable dork, has a crush on Amelia and asks her to the dance. Awwww.  We are also introduced to Amelia’s divorced mother and little sister, who communicates with her guardian angel.

Book Two is Angel By My Side: Lily’s Story. Shura had perished in an off-screen plane crash, which is a real WTF in my opinion. It just seems so random – I mean plane crashes are pretty rare. Anyway, Amelia is dealing with Shura’s death, as well as working on some cheesy book about beauty being on the inside. I think it’s called Swan Songs (as in the ugly duckling bit), so the unoriginality and lameness is exploding off the page; but the girl’s supposed to be about thirteen, so I guess I should cut her some slack. It is in this book that Amelia starts communicating with her guardian angel, Lily, who helps her get through Shura’s death. At some point, Amelia goes on a date with Richard and they hold hands (so cute); her book also gets published and her mom marries this awesome blind guy named Mr. C.

Book Three is Angel By My Side: Grace’s Story. Things sort of get good in this book. Now that Amelia’s life is in ship-shape, it’s time for her to start helping others. Lily tasks her with befriending Grace “Slick” Jamison, a girl who has fallen in with the wrong crowd (and is a total “wrong crowd” stereotype). It’s tough going in the beginning, but, long-story short, Grace is “saved” in the end. Huzzah! More importantly, in this book we discover that Richard’s parents are both English professors (bitchin’) and we see more of Richard’s love of Shakespeare. Yes, Richard is a middle-school boy who wears braces and quotes Shakespeare – I love him so much, yet I can’t understand why he isn’t beaten up regularly. I mean, these people live in Los Angeles for heaven’s sake. Must be because he goes to private school once he reaches middle school age. They might be a little more tolerant of nerds than the general population of the LAUSD.

To sum-up: Richard Flink is the nerdy, Shakespeare-quoting whiz kid of professor parents. He’s an only child, is quite gentlemanly, and is content with hand holding. He’s so going to grow up to be the humanities counterpart to those guys on The Big Bang Theory.

I wish I could elaborate more on Richard, but there really isn’t much more to say. He’s basically the thirteen-year-old version of the boyfriend any studious, serious, average-looking girl would want. As an older person, I look at his character and think “aren’t you adorable.” And then I try to pat him on the head.

These works are hardly prize-winning literature, but if you want something interesting, yet vaguely wholesome, for your kid to read, you could do lot worse than these books. After all, these books have a Dick in them, which automatically gives them an edge in my book.

Richard Dawson

I lied. I know I said that June was going to be “Fictional Richard Month,” but that was before Richard Dawson died on Saturday, June 2. Because my dad enjoyed watching re-runs of the 1970s version of Match Game on the Game Show Network, I intended to do a post about Dawson (who sat in the center position in the first row). Since he has passed on to the great game show in the sky, there’s no time like the present to extol his Match Game prowess.

But first, some shocking news: Richard Dawson was not born Richard Dawson! His birth name was Colin Lionel Emm; he eventually took Richard Dawson as his stage name and later legally changed it.

Richard was born in November 1932 in Hampshire England; his father was American and his mother was English. At age 14 he ran away to join the Merchant Marine (that sounds so Victorian); after his discharge, he took up acting and the stage name Richard Dawson.

Dawson’s first big success was as Corporal Peter Newkirk on Hogan’s Heroes. I must admit that I have never seen this show, but I have heard of it, so I know it was pretty popular in its time. After that, Dawson did a stint on The New Dick van Dyke Show before finding his niche – game shows. Richard was regular on Match Game ’73 and was well-liked by contestants and audiences. He was often chosen by contestants to participate with them in the final round, wherein the contestant and Richard’s answers had to match exactly. From the episodes I have seen, Richard was pretty funny and could be counted on not to come up with overly obscure answers. Unlike some of the celebrities, he had a knack for selecting the most common, most average answer, which was the point of the show. It made sense that so many contestants picked him for the final round – they had a good chance of winning with him.

In July 1976, Richard began hosting Family Feud. He continued to participate on Match Game until 1978, after which he focused exclusively on Family Feud. It was a good move – Family Feud had great ratings success and Richard won the 1978 Daytime Emmy for Best Game Show Host. Richard continued to host Family Feud until the show was cancelled in 1985. During his time on the show, he kissed all of the female contestants for good luck, which was apparently something he picked up from his mother (although presumably she was kissing him and not random females). According to Wikipedia, Richard’s trademark kissing “was one of the things that made the show appear to be a warm and friendly program, and he soon garnered the nickname The Kissing Bandit.” Nickname aside, I find this hilarious proof that the late 1970s and 1980s were a simpler time. If a game-show host today was kissing all of his female contestants, I think people would find that sketchy, not “warm and friendly.” But, hey, maybe Richard could get away with it because he was European (he became a naturalized US citizen in 1984).

Richard appeared as a parody of game-show hosts in the film The Running Man, a decent performance in an otherwise pretty-shitty movie (to paraphrase Roger Ebert). He also hosted the revived Family Feud from 1994 to 1995; he was asked to appear in the first episode of the current iteration, but he declined. He was well and truly retired.

During his hosting stint in the ‘90s, Richard did not kiss the female contestants because he had promised his wife and daughter that he wouldn’t. He was able to get away with all that kissing in the 1970s because he was divorced. Richard was married for a time in the 1960s and had two sons with his first wife. After they divorced he gained custody of the boys and didn’t remarry until 1991. When he did remarry it was to a woman he had met in 1981 when she was a contestant on Family Feud (which is a little bit weird, as she was probably pretty young in 1981 – but maybe not!).

Richard died at age 79 on 2 June 2012 in Los Angeles. He had esophageal cancer. He left behind a widow, two sons, one daughter, and five grandchildren.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Dawson

The House that Dick Built

About two months ago, I was vacationing in Key West, Florida with my family. For those of you who don’t know, Key West is a famed drinking-and-partying spot. It’s also very gay friendly (and nakedness friendly – they have several topless bars). There’s also more academic fun as well. I stayed right down the street from Ernest Hemingway’s House, which I did not visit because 1) I detest Hemingway and his lame-ass female characters and 2) I was not paying $12.50 to tour it! I did manage, however, to find some free, historical, Richard-related fun (which meets all of my requirements for a good time), and even dragged my family along. Luckily for them, it was a short visit.

And what, you ask, was this amazing adventure? Well, it was a trip to “The Oldest House in Key West,” which was built circa 1829 by Richard W. Cussans, a ship’s carpenter. I don’t know too much about Cussans; aside from building this house, he didn’t leave much of a mark on the historical record. So please allow these pictures to provide an extra two thousand words to the story of Richard Cussans. For more on the house, see http://www.seefloridaonline.com/oldesthouse/.

To round out this post of constructing Dicks, I also give you a picture of Chateau Gaillard, a castle in Normandy that was built under the direction of Richard I (the Lion-heart). Sadly these pictures are not mine because I have not been to visit (someday!); you can find more here on Wikipedia.






 

And a little FYI for you all: June is going to be “Fictional Dick Month” (for no apparent reason; I just decided that it should be). This means I’ll be posting about books and giving the plot away. Consider yourselves warned – spoilers ahead!

"Lucky Dick, you big stiff."

So Dr. Richard “Dick” Diver whispered to himself in the first few pages of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s Tender is the Night. Dick Diver, a young American psychiatrist working in post-World-War-I Europe, is the protagonist of Fitzgerald’s most auto-biographical novel. Diver, the stand-in for F. Scott himself, is a smart, sociable, successful guy with his whole life ahead of him. While working in a Swiss sanatorium, he meets Nicole Warren, a wealthy young American with some serious mental problems. Nicole becomes fixated on Dr. Diver, who gradually falls in love with her. The two marry, hoping that Dick can keep Nicole healthy outside a mental hospital. It doesn’t work. As Nicole and her needs suck the life out of Dick, he turns to alcohol and their marriage disintegrates. In the end, they divorce; Dick is left a hollow, alcoholic husk of a man, while Nicole remarries and continues on her merry way. Their positions have completely reversed by the end of the novel. What is most disconcerting, though, is that Nicole’s older sister doesn’t care a bit that Nicole has essentially ruined another person’s life. Dick did not come from money, so Nicole’s sister was content to keep him around as long as he was useful. When Nicole comments that Dick was a good husband and never let anyone or anything hurt her, her sister responds with, “That’s what he was educated for.” And big sister doesn’t seem to be talking about psychiatry – she seems to mean that Dick was educated to protect his wife and that his success in that was no great achievement. He is expendable and easily replaced by Nicole’s new husband.

Obviously, the book is more detailed than that, but I don’t want to give it all away. Although I realize I just spoiled the plot, you don’t read a Fitzgerald novel just for the plot. It’s not so much that A leads to B, as how A leads to B. But I must admit, I have a beef with the journey.

According to Wikipedia, there are two versions of Tender is the Night. In the original version, published in 1934, the story is told through flashbacks; in the 1951 revision (made by Malcolm Cowley from notes Fitzgerald left), the story is told in chronological order. The revision was possibly done because readers initially complained about the novel’s structure; seemingly the revised version is now more widely in print.

I read the revised (chronological) version, and I kind of wish I had the flashback version. The juxtaposition of a strong Dick beside an alcoholic, hollow Dick would have been very powerful. In the chronological version, I didn’t feel Dick’s desperation. I get pretty emotional about books (although not about real life) and I expected to feel completely gutted and devastated by the end – but I didn’t. The novel is pretty long (my version was 392 pages) and there was just too much space between strong Dick and weak Dick (it didn’t help that the middle of the book was taken up with introducing and explaining another character). There’s a reason Fitzgerald wrote the book the way he did. The chronological version just loses something in the telling.

So there you have the rise and fall of Dick Diver, a close parallel of Fitzgerald. Although Dick is a physician and not a writer, both men are exceedingly smart and, as adults, live a far wealthier and more exotic lifestyle than they did as children (both were ex-pats). Both turned to alcohol as a way to dull the pain, had their life-force sucked out of them by their mentally-ill wives (I’m not blaming Nicole and Zelda; mental illness is tough to deal with and care-givers have to take responsibility for their own health and well-being), and ended in a heap of despair. Dick, however, is also an idealized version of Fitzgerald: a man who gives his all to his wife, only to be cast off once he has outlived his usefulness. Although it doesn’t feel quite right to say Dick is “wronged,” he clearly gets a raw deal; this is most obviously seen through the comments of his sister-in-law, who is not mentally ill and still sees fit to use Dick like a medicine, rather than a person. As a reader, we feel deep sympathy for Dick (although, in the chronological version, not as much as we could). In real life, Fitzgerald was not quite so splendid. It seems he could be a real douche to his wife and was probably an alcoholic before he even met her. However, Zelda’s illness didn’t help things; she suffered much more than the fictional Nicole does.

Anyway, Tender is the Night is a good novel featuring a Dick. Richard Diver’s descent into alcoholism and despair is quite sad, so don’t read this novel looking for a good time.

Read more:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F._Scott_Fitzgerald
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zelda_Fitzgerald
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tender_Is_the_Night

Dick Lugar

I must admit that Dick Lugar wasn’t really on my radar until he lost the Republican Primary on 8 May 2012. After that setback, I think I need to throw the poor guy a bone. And what could be a better consolation prize than being featured on this fine blog!

Richard Green Lugar was born 4 April 1932 in Indianapolis. He was valedictorian of his high-school class (all the way back in 1950). He attended Denison University and then went to Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship (graduating in 1956). After Oxford he went into the Navy, then politics. He also manages a 600-some acre farm in Marion County, Indiana.

Lugar was mayor of Indianapolis before running for the US Senate. He first ran in 1974 but narrowly lost that election. In 1976 he ran again, winning by a large margin. Lugar was then re-elected five times: in 2006 (when he won his sixth term) he defeated his Libertarian opponent 87% to 13%. The Democrats didn’t even field a candidate! That, my friends, is the power of incumbency.

And yet… nothing lasts forever. In 2012, Lugar was handily defeated by another Dick (Richard Mourdock) in the Republican primary. This primary was basically a repeat of Lugar’s initial 1976 victory, except the shoe was on the other foot. Lugar was defeated 61% to 39%.

Although Lugar is (was) a Republican, he was a decent sort of Republican (aka he understood the meaning of bipartisanship). He also seems to have taken his job seriously – he had a 98% attendance record, which is pretty damn good. He got along well with President Obama and Vice President Biden, even remarking in 2008 that he approved more of Obama’s than McCain’s foreign policy strategies.

Lugar did not toe the line on all Republican policies, which possibly accounts for his primary defeat by a Tea-Partier. For instance, Lugar has an “F” rating from the NRA, which suggests he is a fan of moderate gun control. Furthermore, Lugar supported immigration reform, eschewing the more hardline policies of many of other Republicans. Lugar also voted for President Obama’s nominees for the Supreme Court (he was the first Republican to announce his support for Sonia Sotomayor).

On the other hand, Lugar did not vote for Obama’s Health Care Reform and he’s not exactly in favor of abortion (although he’s not rabidly pro-life either, it seems). He also voted against repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and supported the Federal Marriage Amendment. However, he was in favor of the Matthew Shepard Act, which expanded federal hate crime statutes to include crimes based on sexual or gender identity.

As someone who is not a Republican, Lugar seems like the kind of Republican I could respect. I can’t expect him to be as liberal as a Democrat (otherwise, he would presumably be a Democrat) or as liberal as a young person (the dude is 80 after all). It is rather depressing that he lost his primary to a guy whose definition of bipartisanship is (I’m paraphrasing here) “Democrats doing what Republicans want them to do.” Somebody get that tea-bagging Dick Mourdock a dictionary!

But sad as it might be to lose a bipartisan Senator, Lugar is 80 years old. It just might be about time to retire. Give the kids a chance to run (or ruin) the country.